Adventure is a State of Mind
This post was supposed to be about our trip to Portugal and Spain. You know, the one my friend, Shelley, and I planned in 15 minutes.
This post was supposed to share the highlights of our latest adventures or warn you of some difficulty we experienced in the hopes of helping you avoid similar pitfalls.
This post was supposed to encourage you to explore the world with courage and curiosity.
This post isn’t about any of that.
The Plan
If you’re a regular reader of Brave Wise Traveler and subscribe to our newsletter, you know that Greg and I spent 2025, the first year of our retirement, on the road and in the air as much as our budget and energy levels allowed. We recently made the decision that we needed to increase our down time between trips, but other than that, we planned to continue our travel adventures in 2026.
Portugal and Spain were planned for March. Camping in the mountains in the summer. Bonaire in the fall with good friends. And France with my cousin and friends in the winter. Plus plans for miscellaneous trips around the US to visit family and friends. Not all the tickets and reservations were finalized, but plans were underway.
But, as the lyrics to the song, Beautiful Boy, go “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”
Screeching to a Halt
In December, right before Christmas, I went in for my annual mammogram. I got called back for a follow-up sonogram because of suspicious results, not an unusual occurrence for me. But then they recommended a biopsy. A few days later I got the diagnosis.
Cancer.
That word carries a weight that stops most of us in our tracks. Even not yet knowing the type or how aggressive, the word “cancer” played on repeat in the back of my mind through the Christmas holidays. We spent time with family in Chicago, visited friends in Iowa, and spent New Years with friends in western Kansas. Underneath the love and laughter we shared with our loved ones, Greg and I knew the 2026 calendar would soon fill up with diagnostic tests and doctor appointments.
The ultimate diagnosis: Invasive Ductal Carcinoma and Ductal Carcinoma in Situ (DCIS) requiring a mastectomy of my left breast.
A Major Detour
As you might guess, our plans for 2026 changed instantly. Before I discuss those changes, however, let me start by expressing an awareness and gratitude that what I’m dealing with is much less sinister than what many others face. The cancer I had to deal with was caught early and is not particularly aggressive. The surgery removed it all, and my lymph nodes were clean, meaning the cancer cells were discovered before they had time to go on walkabout in my body. All-in-all, if one has to have cancer, it was close to a best-case scenario.
That being said, I’m in the process of recovering from the mastectomy and have future reconstructive surgeries ahead of me. What that means to a traveler is lots of time at home until I have the energy for an adventure, not to mention being grounded from flying for a while.
The year ahead looks significantly different than it did a few months ago. This isn’t a little bump in the road, like a delayed flight. This is the sort of detour that puts you on a completely different road for a significant period of time.
Many years ago, when I was driving back to college after a weekend with my parents, there was a major detour off of the interstate. The detour took all of the eastbound traffic, including large semis and tiny little Chevettes like my car, off onto country roads for several miles. It was a giant line of follow-the-leader, so even I couldn’t get lost. It was such a major detour, however, that every few miles, I would start to wonder if the entire line had wandered off course until, at irregular intervals, an orange and black detour sign would appear at an intersection, reassuring us that we were still headed in the right direction.
And as with all detours, eventually we returned to the main route, heading on to our individual destinations. The detour added extra time to the journey, but it didn’t keep any of us from ultimately getting to where we needed to go.
Life’s Detours
Detours in life, and travel, are like road detours. They’re not something anyone wants, and they often add time and inconvenience to the journey. But a detour isn’t the same as a dead end. You’ll eventually get there, it just will be by a different route and take a little longer.
There’s a really good chance I won’t leave the country this year, but that doesn’t mean I won’t next year or the year after. And when I’m feeling stronger, there will still be opportunities for adventures closer to home. Being grounded this year doesn’t mean I have to stop being a brave, wise traveler.
I didn’t see this detour coming, but we don’t see most of them, do we? One thing I know for sure, however, is that every one of us will face a detour at some point in our life. It might disrupt your travel plans or other areas of your life, maybe multiple areas. What none of us can do, however, is avoid detours completely.
The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one’s “own,” or “real” life. The truth is of course that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one’s real life – the life God is sending one day by day.
C.S. Lewis
Embracing the Detour
It’s also important to realize detours aren’t all bad. A road detour may take you through new and interesting places, just like some of life’s detours.
Here are some suggestions to make the most of the detours life gives us:
Accept reality. The first step in managing a detour is to accept the situation. It’s difficult for all of us to give up our delusions of control, but when faced with a situation you can’t change, acceptance of where you are right now does more to reduce your emotional suffering than anything else you can do. Would I prefer to be traveling through Portugal and Spain right now rather than sitting at home taking more naps than I have since I was five? Of course I would! But right now my body needs to heal, so that’s what I’m focusing on.
Accept your emotions, but don’t stay stuck in them. Detours are disappointing and frustrating. If the unexpected road detour means you’re going to be late to an appointment, it’s okay to recognize that you feel anxious or angry about the situation. You can even say a few choice words if it makes you feel better. But then, let go of those feelings. Continuing to stay upset, yelling, and pounding on the steering wheel won’t get you through the detour any faster than calmly continuing to drive.
Identify your priorities. Detours in life often require us to evaluate the situation and identify what is most important to us or needs the most immediate attention. In my case, it was clear that the cancer needed to be addressed immediately. The castles, wine, and delicious food of Portugal and Spain can wait. In a different scenario, however, we might have shuffled our priorities around a little differently. For example, if the trip had been to attend the once-in-a-lifetime event of one of our nieces getting married, we might have explored with the oncologist whether delaying surgery would put my health at risk.
Keep moving. Detours slow us down, but as I said before, they’re not a dead end. The only way a detour will completely bring you to a halt is if you make that choice. Once you’ve identified your priorities, figure out the steps needed to work toward those goals, and then take the first step. The detour can feel disorienting at times (after all, it’s not what you chose in the first place), but much like the detour route I took through the countryside when I was in college, you only need to focus on driving to one sign at a time or taking just the next step on your to do list.
Reframe and look for the positive. Sometimes a detour takes you on a beautiful road or through a different neighborhood than you’ve visited before. You might drive past an ice cream shop that you didn’t even know existed, and can stop now or make plans to visit in the future. I obviously didn’t choose to have cancer, but the situation has shown me, with no room for doubt, how many people I have in my life who love me. I have been overwhelmed by the love and support, phone calls and cards, and flowers and meals that my friends and family have shared with me through this process.
Stay flexible and curious. We previously explored the benefits of being flexible when planning your travel adventures. And, of course, a brave, wise traveler knows the benefits of being flexible when things go wrong. Being flexible helps us all to accept the detours that come our way, and being curious about where the detour might take us makes us more open to finding the positives in the situation. Sometimes that flexibility and curiosity can be about ourselves. Having our travel plans cancelled has given Greg and I time to reassess our future travel goals as well as explore what we want our retirement at home to look like. And we’re trying to make the most of the downtime we’re spending together at home.
When the Detour Ends
Don’t you love the feeling when the detour ends and you’re back on the road? Often it means you can increase your speed, and there’s a sense of relief that you’re back on the route of your choosing.
The same is true for life’s detours. When you get through whatever you need to get through, celebrate! I already know that my next trip abroad will be extra exciting and joyful because it will be a celebration of finishing surgeries. I will be extra grateful that I am alive and healthy enough to travel again.
Detours have an impact on us, depending on how much they alter the journey and how long they last. It’s important that we each avoid comparing our journey to everyone else’s and make the most of our own, even if we’re currently taking a detour.
What detours have you had to take in your travels or your life? Are you experiencing a detour right now? How can you make the most of it?
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