Adventure is a State of Mind
I know a lot about packing. I’ve written a lot about packing. I know the benefits of packing light far outweigh (no pun intended) the downsides. I managed to travel for weeks with a small bag.
And then I got married.
I’ve joked with Greg that I married him just to help me with my luggage, but it seems there may be at least a little bit of truth to that joke. Over time, I started choosing larger and larger bags and bringing more and more stuff.
When traveling by car or camping, this hasn’t been too much of a problem. And with Greg to help with my bags, it also hadn’t been too much of a problem when we flew, until our recent trip to Scotland. There were four of us traveling together, we each had similarly-sized suitcases, and… we had to upgrade to a larger rental car because we couldn’t fit in all of our luggage.
An expensive mistake, but not the end of the world. However, for someone who not only writes about packing light but truly believes it is a worthy goal, it was a very embarrassing mistake.
How did this happen? I believe the problem can be explained by behavioral drift.
Behavioral Drift
Behavioral drift is a slow, subtle, and usually unintentional change in an individual’s behavior. Because each individual change is small, the changes often go unnoticed in the moment. Over time, however, the changes accumulate to create a significant alteration in behavior.
Making small, incremental changes is often a very effective way to develop new, healthy habits. Because behavioral drift is unintentional, however, it is usually not in a desired direction and ultimately results in a new, unwanted behavior.
The Environment
Change doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Our environments contribute significantly to behavioral drift.
When it comes to packing, the amount of money we are able to budget for our travel probably played a significant role. As we were able to afford rental cars instead of only traveling by train, I loved being able to get out into the countryside (such as driving around on the Isle of Mull in Scotland), but I didn’t get the feedback of lugging heavy bags around to remind me to pack light. As we could afford to go to more expensive restaurants, I felt the need to pack extra (fancier) clothes and shoes.
And as with most behavior, our peers have an impact, for better or for worse. When I traveled with friends who packed more than I did, I felt a little jealousy when they brought more outfits so they didn’t have to repeatedly wear the same shirts as I was doing. And I coveted the extra room they had in their larger bags to bring home gifts and souvenirs.
The Subtle Changes
Behavioral drift is hard to spot. In fact, it’s a bit like watching paint dry – it’s slow, and you can’t exactly pinpoint when you cross that invisible line of significant change.
I didn’t consciously trade my small bag for a large one. Instead, over the course of more than thirty years of travel and the search for the perfect bag, each new bag I bought was slightly larger than the previous one. Sometimes I was aware of this, but because it was just a little larger than the bag it was replacing, I didn’t realize how much the bags were growing over time. Sometimes I was so wrapped up in the other features of the bags – wheels, backpack straps, pockets! – that I didn’t pay much attention to the size.
The few times I took an honest look at the size of my bag and questioned why I felt the need to pack so much more than I used to, I usually reassured myself that it wasn’t a problem because at least my bag wasn’t as big as some of the suitcases I’d seen people grabbing off of the conveyer belt at the airport baggage claim.
But then came the day when we couldn’t fit all of the luggage in the boot of the rental car in Scotland. Greg and I agreed that we needed to make a course adjustment.
How to Stop the Drift
The first thing to do with any sort of behavioral drift, whether it’s the size of your bag or your waistline, is to take a good, honest look at yourself and what is happening. Is your behavior matching your values? Are you doing what you say you want to do? Are you being intentional about your choices?
If the answer to any of these questions is “no,” take a look at the gap between what you say you want to do and what you are actually doing. Then figure out whether the problem is that you’re not being honest about what you really want, or alternatively, that you are not making choices that support your values.
For example, not everyone values traveling light. My niece, Alex, would rather have six pairs of shoes to make sure she can coordinate with all of her outfits, even if it means she has to pay overweight fees to the airline. And so long as she is willing to accept the consequences of large luggage (including the fees, lugging heavy bags up stairs, and needing larger rental cars), her behavior matches her values. No problem.
On the other hand, if someone (like me) values the idea of traveling light and is frugal enough to not want to give the airline or car rental companies a penny more than necessary, then finding myself with a large suitcase indicates I’m not being intentional with my choices and I’m out of alignment with my values.
If you’re not sure where to look for behavioral drift, consider areas of your life where things aren’t working well or there is tension, with yourself or others. Ask yourself what has changed and whether those changes were intentional. Be honest, but also be kind. None of us is immune from unconsciously drifting to someplace we didn’t want to end up.
Check In With Yourself Regularly
Behavioral drift sneaks up on you. Unless you intentionally look for it, you won’t see it developing until you’re past the point where the problems start.
Because life happens and change is inevitable, drift happens. Rather than waiting until a problem develops, however, we can make a plan to check in with ourselves on a regular basis. This could be yearly, quarterly, or monthly. Whatever works best for you. Take some time to look at all of the different areas of your life – home, work, travel, relationships – and evaluate how you are doing in each of these areas, including what is going well and what is not. Then identify changes you would like to make.
The best thing about checking regularly for behavioral drift is that you often only need to make small adjustments in order to get back on track, rather than waiting until a problem has developed that requires significant (and sometimes painful) changes to realign with your values.
When you do decide to make some changes, be clear about what you hope to accomplish. Then, check in regularly with yourself as to whether you are following through with those changes and whether they are accomplishing what you had hoped.
If you want to change who you are, you have to change what you do.
Jude Law
Consider Making Changes to Your Environment
If you identify that your environment is the biggest contributor to behavioral drift, focus on changing that environment. For example, if you’re concerned that you’ve gradually been gaining weight over the years, and after taking an honest look at yourself and your situation, you decide most of your weight is the result of eating ice cream in the evening, stop bringing ice cream into your home. Yes, you could focus on strengthening your willpower or enhancing your exercise routine, but sometimes changing the environment (when it’s possible to do so) has the largest impact.
Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help
It helped that Greg and I both became aware that we wanted to course correct our packing at the same time. We were able to discuss the changes we wanted to make and bounce ideas off of each other.
Sometimes it’s difficult to see our own behavior, and it helps to have an outsider give us their perspective on the problem. It can be someone who is sharing the problem with you, such as Greg and I did, but it can also be someone who is completely outside of the situation, such as a trusted friend.
In some situations, it’s best to enlist professional help, such as a coach or therapist. Because it’s their job, they can be honest with you in a way that friends might not feel comfortable doing. And being honest about what is happening is the first and most important step to stopping behavioral drift.
Conclusion
Drift happens. It’s a predictable human response to change, not a personal or moral failing. But unless we are aware that it is happening and make intentional choices, we can end up living a life that isn’t what we want.
After our Scotland epiphany, Greg and I did significantly better on our next trip, both of us using smaller bags. It helped that we were traveling to Greece instead of Scotland, so we could pack lighter clothing and didn’t need to plan for as many layers. But with most things in life, improvement is a process. If our next trip is to a colder climate, I can’t promise that I’ll still be able to pack everything in a carry-on sized bag. I can promise, however, that I’ll be more mindful and intentional with whatever packing choices I do make.
Take a few moments to evaluate how you travel. Are you happy with how you pack for your trips and the travel arrangements you make? If not, what has changed from the past (for better or worse) and what would you like to do differently?
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