Adventure is a State of Mind

If you’re considering traveling with more than one person, or maybe if it’s only one but you both have big personalities, it’s important to not let group dynamics stop the planning process.

A riot of color in rural France. Variety is beautiful!

Brainstorming

I personally love traveling with a small group, but it also adds a level of complexity to the planning. I’ve learned that initially inviting your travel companions to brainstorm with you is incredibly helpful so long as you avoid editing and rejecting ideas too early in the process. For example, I am claustrophobic enough that I would not of my own free will ever choose to visit a cave in a volcano, but telling my travel companions that when they initially presented the idea might have left them frustrated or feeling left out of the trip planning process.

Ultimately that cave visit turned out to be a very interesting activity during a trip to the Azores. Not every idea will make the final cut — on at least one occasion, I’ve nixed an entire suggested country because I knew that it would make our group have to rush through the countries we had already chosen and identified as priorities — but cutting too early can smother enthusiasm in the planning process.

Standing inside of a volcano on the Island of Terceira in the Azores with our friends, Shelley and Mike.

What If No One Has Ideas?

The opposite problem can also occur — sometimes your travel partners avoid suggesting anything. This could possibly mean that they are not very enthusiastic about the idea of the trip at all, in which case you might want to reevaluate who is going. For example, if you are traveling with other couples but only the females seem to relish the idea of visiting Paris, maybe it needs to be a “girls-only” trip.

The difference between friends cannot but reinforce their friendship.

Mao Zedong

Often, however, I think the reason travel companions don’t make suggestions is because of a lack of confidence. If they know that you (I’m assuming you’re the primary planner since you’re reading this blog) have more experience traveling or they know nothing at all about the places you’re planning to visit, they may be reluctant to say anything. If this is possibly what’s going on, you can encourage more active participation in the planning process by providing them with information or by having discussions about what they might like or dislike about some of your ideas. Or if you know your travel companion is more of a spontaneous type of a person rather than a planner, leave them an open afternoon or entire day in the itinerary that is theirs to direct once you are boots on the ground.

Teamwork Makes the Dream Work

What if there are too many ideas from the brainstorming session? Then asking asking everyone to identify their top two or three priorities will help to narrow it down. When I’ve planned trips with a group, I often ask everyone to identify their priorities of where to go and what to do. Occasionally there are a few unanimous votes, which means those sites or activities are absolute musts. Overall, I try to make sure that everyone has at least one of their priorities in the plan. That includes me/you, the planner. You won’t win any prizes for “Best Travel Planner” by denying yourself what you’d really like to see and do, and if you try, your resentment will probably bleed through and affect everyone’s enjoyment of the trip. There are no martyrs having brave and wise adventures!

It’s also important that your travel companions realize that there is no perfect trip, although there can be perfect moments. Each person being willing to compromise and go along with what the others want at times means that everyone gets to do something they each want to do. Being cooperative and respectful of others’ choices as well as being curious and open to experiences that might be different that what you would have chosen will create an amazing trip for everyone.

What is your top priority for what you want to do during your next adventure?

Brave Wise Traveler logo of a plane circling a brain-shaped globe.

Author

  • Sandi McCoy Kramos at Nürburg Castle in Nürburg, Germany.

    Sandi McCoy Kramos is a licensed clinical psychologist with a doctorate from the University of Virginia and over 30 years of experience as a therapist. She is also a lifelong traveler with years of experience planning and implementing individual travel adventures for herself and family and friends. When asked why she started this blog, Sandi said, "Over the years I've realized that when people say they want to travel but don't actually do it, it's often their own insecurities and lack of knowledge that get in the way. I want to give individuals the knowledge they need to actually make their travel dreams come true."

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