Bucket Lists and Other Travel Goals

Adventure is a State of Mind

Do you have a travel bucket list? Maybe you just call it a list of travel goals. Do you feel proud or discouraged by how many checkmarks there are on your list? Either way, let’s look at the pros and cons of having travel goals.

By the Numbers

Recently we attended a family celebration, and I briefly talked with a dear family friend, Joyce, who just reached one of her major travel goals – she visited Antarctica, which means she has now been to all seven continents. That’s an impressive accomplishment!

Joyce has also now visited 62 countries in the world. Again, quite impressive! I’ll admit, I’m a little jealous. Those of you who have read my bio on this website know that I’ve only been to 21 countries… yet. That’s more than the average American – only 26% of Americans have visited five or more countries – but far fewer than many of my travel role models, like Joyce.

So why don’t I have more countries on my list?

Breadth versus Depth

Travel goals and accomplishments can be approached from a breadth or depth focus. Breadth involves covering as large of a span of whatever you are measuring as possible. For travelers, that often means visiting as many countries as possible.

Depth refers to seeking out a more intense or complex relationship with something. When it comes to travel, depth is usually found in spending longer periods of time in an area, sometimes referred to as slow travel.

I think my travel bucket list initially was focused more on breadth – I was inspired by my grandmother to visit all 50 states, and I keep a list on my phone of all the countries I’ve visited. (I’ll admit I get a thrill out of adding new ones to the list.) Somewhere in my 30s, however, I realized the joys of returning to a country and getting to know it better.

A friend once asked me about my travel goals for the next 10 years, and when I told her about wanting to return to France and the UK, both places where I have already visited multiple times, she expressed surprise and asked me why I keep going back to places rather than wanting to do “new” things. I explained to her that each time I go back, I am doing new things. It would take years of living in a place to do everything that is available there. After all, I’ve lived in Kansas for the majority of my life, and there are still things I haven’t done.

Each time I return to a place I know and love, there are new things to do. Some are things I didn’t have time for on my last trip. Some are things that are actually new, such as a new restaurant. Additionally, I almost always add a new location to a trip. For example, when my husband, Greg, and I took our nephew, Dathan, to Europe last year, Dathan wanted to visit the Cologne area of Germany and both Greg and Dathan wanted to visit Venice, Italy. Both of these are places that I had been to, and while I was also happy to return to both areas, I requested that we add Zurich, Switzerland, to the itinerary. (Switzerland became the 21st country that I’ve visited.)

Back to the numbers – part of the reason I haven’t visited more countries (yet) is that I have visited some of my favorites multiple times. I’ve been to France five times, England twice, and Germany three times. Would I love to visit more countries? Yes! You’ll notice I’ve used “yet” multiple times. I definitely plan to keep exploring the world!

Do I regret that I’ve traveled to some countries more than once? Absolutely not! Each of those visits has added to my understanding of the country and its culture. And in the case of France and Germany, each visit has improved my ability to speak languages other than English.

Bucket Lists

Bucket lists became popular with the 2007 film, The Bucket List, with Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson. As trends go, it seemed to lose much of its popularity until Covid hit. With people being trapped at home and many asking, “What do I want to do before I die?,” I’ve noticed that I’m hearing more about bucket lists again.

Bucket lists can include anything you want to do. It could have items related to your career, your finances, your family, or your spiritual and physical health. Many people have travel on their bucket lists, and some people’s bucket lists include only travel. (Believe it or not, I have a few items on my list besides travel. Not many, but a few!)

Having a bucket list or goals (I’ll use them interchangeably from now on) can be very helpful in motivating us to do the things we want to do, so long as they are somewhat detailed. If someone’s goal is to “travel more,” there isn’t a lot of vision in that goal to get them to turn off the television and get up off the couch. The goal “visit Albania,” however, is specific enough to give some direction and motivation. You might not be ready to book a flight yet, but you can go to the library and check out a book about Albania.

The act of identifying what you want to do and writing out a list increases your chances of doing those things. Research shows that people who write down goals are more likely to attain them.

As we check items off of our bucket lists, it can also give us a sense of progress and reassurance that we’re on track to creating the life we want.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.

Steve Jobs

Your Unique Goals

Having goals to work toward can be invigorating, especially if you’ve lost some of those goals in other areas of life, which happens to many when they retire. This will only work, however, if the goals you put on your list are important and meaningful to you.

Have you seen some of the bucket lists on the internet? Places like Pinterest are full of titles like, “51 Things You Have to Try in Your Lifetime” and “Official Bucket List Places to Visit.” Or maybe you have the book 1,000 Places to See Before You Die. I have to admit I have a love/hate relationship with lists like these… and I own the book.

I love the public lists because I’m always curious about what there is out there in this big, beautiful world we call our home, and sometimes they present ideas that I love but I just hadn’t thought of before. I hate them because they’re someone else’s list. Just because someone else wants to visit someplace or do something doesn’t mean that the rest of us have to, too. (I don’t care how many lists include “run a marathon” or “skydive.” You’ll never find either of those on my list!)

Don’t follow someone else’s bucket list! That’s someone else’s dream. Live your own life rather than someone else’s life.

It doesn’t matter if your bucket list is less ambitious, weirder, or different in any other ways from someone else’s list. If it’s your list, it’s going to be meaningful, and therefore inspiring, to you.

Our friend, Mike, makes a point of attending baseball games in different stadiums around the US. I enjoy the occasional baseball game, but visiting all of those stadiums is not going to motivate me to plan a trip. Recently, however, Greg and I have discussed trying to visit all of the presidential libraries. I’m much more motivated by that list!

So long as you’re not hurting anyone, put whatever you want on your bucket list. Just make sure that they are things that excite you, regardless of what anyone else would think of them.

How Long Should the List Be?

Here’s where I may differ from the goals of many a bucket list. In general, people tend to refer to their lists as things they want to do or places they want to visit before they die. That implies that the goal is to check everything off of the list before you take your last breath.

Personally, I think your bucket list should outlive you. Otherwise, what are you supposed to do when you run out of things you want to do? Just sit at home and stare at the wall all day? Okay, that’s a little melodramatic, but I agree with the lyrics from the song Squirm by The Dave Matthews Band – “But when your light’s still on… And your wings won’t let you fly… Don’t be dead before you die.”

If your list is getting a little short, you can always add more. Pay attention to things you’re curious about. Or excited. On the other hand, don’t add things just to add things. If there’s really nothing else you’d like to do or places you’d like to go and you’re truly satisfied with your life, that’s a good place to be. I’m guessing that you still have a bucket list, but it may involve more quiet aspirations, such as enjoying a good cup of coffee on your porch when the sun is coming up or watching the trees in your neighborhood change through the seasons.

Revise as Necessary

We change from day to day and year to year, so why wouldn’t our bucket lists? Review your list occasionally and see whether the things that are on there are still things that excite you. If not, feel free to let them go and put your energy into the things you still really want to do.

Sometimes the list changes because our interests have changed – I was interested in seeing lots of countries rather than revisiting my favorites until my mom talked me into going back to France with her and my aunt and cousin. After that trip, however, I realized both the joy of returning to a place as well as a general love of France (and good French food). At that point, the orientation of my personal bucket list changed to regions of my favorite countries with less of an emphasis on the number of countries visited.

Sometimes our lists change because of external circumstances. There are a number of countries that are not currently on my list because of safety or geopolitical considerations, but as the world changes, they may be back on the list again someday. Joyce also said that external circumstances resulted in her revising her goals – she told me that after losing approximately two years of travel due to the Covid pandemic, she decided to focus on traveling to the remaining two continents she had left on her list.

Living life gives us feedback that can change our lists. If you visit someplace that you really don’t enjoy, you don’t have to continue visiting similar places just because they’re on your list. If you always wanted to visit multiple countries in Asia, but after a grueling flight decide that you’re never going to spend that much time on an airplane ever again, it’s okay to be grateful for the countries in Asia that you did manage to visit and subsequently change your list to only include locations closer to home.

The List is Just the Beginning

Remember that a bucket list is only helpful if you actually take action. Having a list can sometimes give people the little push they need to get started rather than having vague goals, like “travel more,” that they never take action on. Lists help us be able to see something beyond our day to day lives.

If your list is something that you enjoy adding to and dreaming about, but you never seem to get around to doing anything, there might be a problem. It could be that you’re waiting until you feel ready, but honestly, you’ll never feel ready. None of us do. Doing anything adventurous in your life, even just a tiny bit adventurous, means stepping out of your daily routine and comfort zone. And the only way to do that is to take action before you feel ready.

Maybe you haven’t checked anything off of your list because you’re scared. First of all, good for you! You had the courage to admit to yourself that there’s something you really want to do, even though it scares you. Fear doesn’t have to stop you, however. Figure out specifically what it is that is making you anxious and address those issues. Seek out knowledge or support to help you overcome your insecurities and take steps toward the adventure you’re dreaming of.

Don’t procrastinate on the things you really want to do. Don’t put off living your life!

Don’t Let the Bucket List Be the Boss of You

Lists are great inspiration, but you don’t want them to drive every travel decision you make to the exclusion of great opportunities that come along. If someone invites you to go on a trip somewhere you haven’t considered, hopefully you won’t refuse to go just because it isn’t on your list. (There could be other reasons not to go, such as if you don’t think you and your friend would be compatible travel companions, but that’s a different conversation.)

Also, don’t let not achieving a bucket list item perfectly prevent you from enjoying the experience. Joyce told me that when she visited Antarctica, she was in the area for several days and got to see amazing things like icebergs and penguins, but because of rough seas, she wasn’t able to get out of the small excursion boat and actually set foot on the ground. Does that mean that her experience didn’t occur? Joyce told me that she was close enough to “smell the penguin poop.” In my mind, that seems close enough to put a checkmark on her list. And she had a heck of an adventure!

Sometimes time and circumstances mean that we’re never going to attain a goal on our list. For example, as we age, some things become increasingly difficult to do. (Please don’t put your life in danger just to check something off the list!)

We have a choice – we can focus on the list of things we weren’t able to do, or we can focus on the list of everything we have been able to do and are still planning to do.

The biggest non-travel example of this in my life is having children. Greg and I tried unsuccessfully to have children for ten years. When we had finally hit our emotional limit with miscarriages and a failed adoption, we made the decision that we would instead focus on enjoying our nieces and nephew and being grateful for the adventures we could experience even without children.

I’d enjoyed traveling before the experience of infertility, but since then I recognize (and am grateful for) the financial and time resources I have to travel that I would not have had if I was raising a family. Of course, we would have loved having children if that was an option, but once it became clear that it wasn’t, we moved on with our lives and focused on the options that are available to us.

It’s Just a Checkmark

It feels good to accomplish something. Most of us get a dopamine hit when we check something off of the list. That’s great! Enjoy it. Brag about it to your envious friends. Post it on Instagram. Just remember that the hit is fleeting. Happiness comes from actually living your life and enjoying the experiences on your list.

Occasionally, people can become so obsessed with checking off everything on their bucket list that they don’t slow down to enjoy it. Be careful that the list doesn’t turn into pressure or a compulsion to just get the thing done.

Ultimately, a bucket list is like a sign you’ve created to point you in the direction of what you want your life to look like. As what you want changes, the list can change. If you don’t do everything on your list but you’re living the life you want, your list has been a success. And if trying some things on your list has helped you to figure out what you want in life, even if that means that you completely scrapped your old list and started a new one, then your list has been extra successful.

If life circumstances, like the weather or health, prevented you from doing everything on your bucket list, it doesn’t mean you failed. Hopefully the list helped you take action and live your life, and you took advantage of the experiences and opportunities that did come along.

And if your bucket list doesn’t look like anyone else’s… fantastic! You’re a unique human being so your list should be as unique as you are. Ultimately, it’s all about creating the life YOU want.

What’s the most unique travel goal on your bucket list? Feel free to share your responses in the comments section below.